Texas; Part 2: The Road to Amarillo and Beyond

As I left Austin, I managed to find a good radio station to tune into. It took me about an hour of driving for the one channel that had NPR on it to suddenly wither and fade out into static. I had no idea what the next Se7en hours had in store for my mind, body, and dare I say it.... soul.

The road stretched out ahead of me like a winding snake. For eight whole hours, I drove down a two lane highway. I narrowly missed a hail storm off in the distance. In most of Texas, you can see the weather coming from miles away. There really is no need for a weather man, or a weather channel. Two things are for sure. It's going to be really fucking hot, and if rain does show... you'll know immediately because the entire atmosphere suddenly changes. Bright white sun and yellow sand becomes dark gloomy blueish hues, and a wind whispers that a storm is coming.

If you're a god fearing man, who desires only your own healthy dose of the American west, with its constant reminders to the Spanish American wars, and the genocide of the Native Indian, then Texas is for you. If you're a man who who wants nothing more from life than to drive around all day in a big truck, rolling coal, blasting country, and quietly contemplating the pernicious words of Rush Limbaugh, or the maleficent gospel of Pat Robertson, Texas is also for you.

I arrived in Amarillo with a head full of mixed emotion. Scanning a radio and finding our dear savior Rush Limbaugh on no less than 12 separate radio stations can do that to a man. But my father was kind enough to find me a room to rest my weary head. "Texas is behind me," I thought to myself as I quietly fell asleep to the hotel TV. But Texas still had plenty to teach me.

The last two hours of driving through Texas felt like the previous day's eight. I recall at one point stopping in Channing, Texas. Presumably Channing Tatum was named after this town, because much like his acting, it was a hollow and meaningless spit of land. In it, I drove past a billboard that proclaimed, "Coming Soon to Channing, Texas: OUR FIRST HOSPITAL!" You know things are backwards when your shitty little town has no less that five McDonalds, but in 2014 you're finally getting your very own Hospital!

I can say this about Texas. Austin is a badass city. A lot of people like to refer to it as "The Loophole in the Bible Belt", I can say I'd be inclined to agree with them. However I can also say with a great certainty, and it's extremely unfortunate but my honest truth, that the Austin-loophole in the bible belt just isn't loose enough to loosen the gastrointestinal stranglehold it has on the rest of Texas. The Mad Max-ian wasteland we call Texas is a literal representation of the Stephen King book "Under the Dome." Driving through this state, and hearing the complete and utter disconnect of the people who live there, was nothing short of terrifying. The way their political disc jockeys and gospel preachers describe the world, and the way the world really is are so far from each other you could fit a galaxy in between. It's complete insanity, intertwined with blissful ignorance.

I keep hearing murmurs and rumors of Texas wanting to secede from the Union. Let me go ahead and throw my two cents in.... LET THEM. Our country is better off without this gaping Christian wound in its side. I constantly hear about them wanting to build a wall across the Mexican border.... LET THEM. Let them build a wall across the border, and then let them keep going until the entire state is quarantined like some Escape from Rick Perry's conservative American Museum of Creationism and American Exceptionalism. Let them build the wall, and keep their motto: "Dont Mess With Texas."

You know why no one Messes with Texas? Because why the fuck would you want to? Texas fucking sucks.

So, there we have it, my Texas experience finally recorded and presented here for your contemplation and review. If you ever want to go to Austin, that's great.... but take my advice... and FLY. Fly like the wind! But never drive through Texas, not unless you enjoy 8 hour shifts of this:


Not unless your a Masochist, and enjoy long, agonizing periods of pain. If a landscape, full of open carry, Obama birther, flag suckers is your thing.... then I'm here to tell you, Heaven is Real.

It's alive in Texas.

Texas; Part 1: Austin, TX.

After waking up to the sounds of wild Roosters trying to out CROW each other, and feeling perhaps a little more hungover than I would have liked to be (as you do in New Orleans), I found myself hitting the road again for Austin, TX.

The drive from New Orleans to Texas was not too bad, I was still able to tune into most of the great music stations from New Orleans until the Texas line. I noticed a huge switch in the programming immediately after crossing into Texas. All NPR stations ceased to exist. Thankfully I had CD's.

Once I got to Austin though I got to begin to see why this city has grown exponentially for the last 3 years. It's one of the fastest growing cities in the country.

My friend Max took me to the Easy Tiger first, which is really a trip. It's like being transported to some European beer garden. There's a small river that passes through the back of the beer garden:




The next day we decided to hit up Jester King Brewing company, which was nothing short of fantastic. The beer they make at this place is weapons-grade amazing sour beer. We got to take the tour, and really hear about what separates Jester King from the other brewers in Texas, and also around the country. 







Aside from the beer, the food is really what struck me in Austin. There is no shortage of AMAZING food destinations. Really great stuff everywhere I went. From the most amazing tacos I've ever had at a food truck, to artisan chicken sausage with a giant Live Oak Hefeweizen, I can see why Austin is called a "loop-hole" in the bible belt. I had a blast and would definitely FLY back one day for SXSW or something.

But no amount of good beer, friendly reunions, or amazing food could prepare me for what came next. The drive through Texas back roads....to Amarillo.

Tune in later tonight for Part 2 of Texas.... because this state is so fucking big and pointless, I couldn't fit all my thoughts on it into one post.

New Orleans...

So, it's been a few days since my last update. I was without Wi-Fi in New Orleans so I figured I'd update in Austin. And then Austin became an awesome hang out and I never found the time. But... here we go.




My first time in New Orleans was 2005, about two or three months before Katrina. I went with my family for the New Orleans Jazz Fest. I absolutely fell in love with the place. The food, people, music, it just seemed like an amazing place all together. And then Katrina came, and tore the city apart. One of the most incompetent Presidents in the history of the United States didn't help the matter much either. And so I was left with this hollow sunken feeling while I helplessly watched the TV as New Orleans tore itself apart. An already poor working class city was left without food or water for a week, bodies left out on the side of the roads to cook in the hot Bayou sun. Not the best of times. George Bush of course was never held accountable for this, or any of his other atrocities.

How would the city be almost ten years later? I hadn't the slightest clue. But I'm glad I went back. Almost a decade later, a lot of the houses in certain wards have been rebuilt or at least patched up. The French Quarter obviously was left almost exactly how I remember it.

There's a certain wonder you experience walking through a city like New Orleans, especially having watched the 24hour media circus that surrounded Katrina. A lot of the musicians have returned, the music is still great as it ever was, and the city seems to be rebounding from an unacceptable tragedy in the form of insane Governmental ineptitude. It's a city with a soul, and its soul is still intact, unbroken.

It just so happened my visit coincided with an extremely random, but no less awe-inducing, concert. In all honesty, I've never listened to a lot of The Melvins music. But King Buzzo was fucking great. Ripping through a lot of heavier songs on an acoustic guitar with a surgical accuracy that left me unable to do anything but just ROCK OUT. Here's a taste of that:



All in all, my time in New Orleans was short lived, but incredibly fun. I loved seeing some old faces and meeting some new ones. New Orleans is a special place that I'll have to go back to one day.

"Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?"

Much Love

I'd like to take this second post, and use it to thank everyone who came out tonight to Pangaea. It meant a lot to hang out with people who I respect so much, and who made Florida occasionally seem like a breeze.

You're all in my thoughts and I will truly relish that memory for a long time.

Now it's time to try and accomplish some form of rest, and then hit the road tomorrow/today. It was sobering to realize driving back to my house from Siesta Key, that this will be the last time I see this city I basically grew up in. At least for awhile.

The future is uncertain, but one thing is clear; There is a minority of amazing, intelligent, caring, insightful, and generally overall badass people in Sarasota. I'm proud to call you my friends.

I'll start to get emotional if I delve too much deeper, so I'll simply leave you with this song...

A preview of what's to come:

The Beginning is Nigh

The Beginning is Nigh

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Sam Simmons. I'm 25 years old, and up until Thursday I'll have lived in Florida for a little over 20 years. It's been a long time. Too long in fact.

In 25 years, I've not had too much experience with this American landscape.
This country, we as Americans, call home.

I've seen New York City, I loved it but it's too hustle and bustle for me. I could never live there.
I've been to Chicago, it's one of my favorite places to visit hands down. The architecture, music, food, people, I love it. But it's way too fucking cold. Myself, I was born outside of Detroit, Michigan.

Detroit's not looking at the best of times right now, with the City Government about to shut off water to over a thousand citizens. But then Detroit hasn't been in good times Economically for the last 2-3 decades. The last time they had anything to cheer about was 2008, when the Detroit Red Wings brought the Stanley Cup back to Hockeytown.

But I will say it seems, (at least from the times I've been back) people are more real there. Perhaps it's because they've seen the "American Dream" in action. They live the everyday hell that unfettered corporate crony-capitalism can reign on the working class and poor. 

For that sacrifice alone, I will always proudly proclaim my hometown as Detroit fucking Michigan.

Home of the Coney Island/Lafayette hotdog rivalry.
Home of a true patriot in Joe Louis, a World Heavyweight Champion, who the IRS destroyed.
Home of Ford, and Packard, who single-handedly turned a once thriving metropolis
into a Ghost Town.
Home of the MC5, and John Sinclair.
Home of the Tigers, who are still trying.
And the Home of the Detroit Red Wings, who will never quit.

I've seen bits of California and Nevada, and I still remained unsatisfied. However, last September I went to Portland, Oregon and something changed. It never really hit me in the city, but in the forest, I felt at home. I felt for the first time an energy that called to me, and whispered inspiration.

It's an extremely difficult thing, to leave everything you know and hit the road with not much but yourself and this "stuff"... the shit we think we need to survive. It's even more difficult when Love is involved. And Love is really never something anyone should take for granted. But you know the love couldn't be more unconditional than when that love recognizes your need to evolve. I can't say enough amazing things about my partner in crime for the last 4 years.

I wouldn't trade any moment that's happened from the past until now. It's liberating to feel free of regret. I am the person I am today because of the pains I've weathered, but also the love I've experienced.

So now I'm hitting the road. Going on one ridiculously life changing move to the opposite of everything I've ever known both geographically and culturally. But I am going into this with so much support from my love, family, and friends. There's not much else I could ask for.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll arrive at the point of this Blog.

I will be updating this on my journey out West. And hopefully, will remain updating it once I get to Portland as a way of furthering my Beer and Loathing PDX persona. You can expect a general eclectic mixture of reviews for new craft beers, commentary on where I think the beer industry is going, reviews of movies and scripts, as well as general social/political commentary on occasion.

It is my most sincere hope that the friends I have on Facebook will support this endeavor by reading this blog and contributing with feedback, or suggestions on content.

Cheers!

-Sam